it doesn't matter too much you say but my lie still hangs in the air like a cloud, or like a falcon, waiting in lazy circles for my next mistake so it can dive with the assurance of success, but i don't want it to scar your heart any more, i've made enough trouble for you and even though you try to assure me i do you less harm than good i'm sure it's you taking the stripes that should have been mine, and i'm just as sure it's pride that makes me think i really want them when the truth is i'm glad you shield me from the consequences of my conceit, so i offer you a bite of my muffin when you set your coffee down and then i stare out at the traffic wondering if there will be a reckoning one day, if you will tire of me and begin to count the cost in earnest...