watching the long grass in the wind
the color of your hair
smoky mountain snow tops
shaded by blue grey eyes
foothills climbing to your lofty perch
i will ascend again to view
the vast expanse of your generousity
layed out as a feast before me

no sound listen
no sight look
you will not find me
because i am not
you will not feel me
for i am gone
no breath gasp
no scent sniff
you will not miss me
because i am you
you will not need me
for i never left

morning light intrudes i wake
my dreams lost again to ether
night id left to die alone
surprise you sleep beside me
my dreams are true awake
your hair a corona of relaxation
face slack and lovely
night and day collide
in expensive overabundance
what other blessing
could i ever require of God

there's a place we've been where the rain smells fresh and clean and the ozone blares at your brain like spic and span, though the inspiration is backward, of course, where we held hands and smiled a few moments and wondered what the future held for us while we gazed at a sky of white and blue...and now there's stained carpets and baby messes and our vomitous couch cover to contend with and my unfailing refusal to engage in any meaningful way so that failure is always a mystery and surprise, but you are faithful and you work hard even so, though i see your reserves getting low now and again, a different kind of stress, one you had hoped to avoid in life, i think, a dwindling of candlepower or wattage or brightness or something denoting potential usefulness and diminishing capabilities, and we wonder how we let ourselves go so long without looking around to see the beauty God has placed in the world

what's funny is how you look in my mind, you still shine like the first day you walked sideways at me before we drank our coffee

i knew at moo that you'd be soon be nekkid and i was happy happy happy, but it's not so much the nekkid that matters, even then, as it was and is being known and still loved even so

i have always always always wanted to be worthy of being known by you and i see so many ways you cover over my sins by pretending not to see them if nothing else and i know God is faithful even if he's given you a tough row to hoe

it had been days, or so it seemed
since last we talked or wrote
and i was feeling just a little down

it has been weeks or more it seems
since last we held each other
and i am feeling lost and inside out

it might be months until i see you
before we scream and fight
and i won't feel the hatred anymore

it must be moments till i feel you
for i am still not dead, you know
and all my heart is dedicated to you