the leaving fills your heart more full than you imagined it could, a leaving filling crying artificial loss that separates heart and mind from flesh from flesh and there is no more comfort in the hand that's held close, so you cry and you cannot speak and still you know the life lives on in the sky and then over the sea and later you load the washer and a sock reminds you of the time you swam with the one you love and there was laughter and splashing and Jesus loved you both and you could feel it and so you go into your room and both your children comfort you between the sobs and the antics of the smaller one remind you again when you were seven and she looked like that when she stumbled also and you laugh and you thank God who watches over and you hold her close to your soul in prayer